I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize