Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
