it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
