Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
