Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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