If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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