And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
