can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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