I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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