addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
