Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
