As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
