my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Alive.
So much puke
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
wow bdsm is so cute
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