32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
