Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
