Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
