i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Don't tell me you're on acid again
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize