I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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