like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
