you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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