would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize