hotel room ftw
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
