Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL