I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.