Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)

(1-407): View more from Florida

Mom wtf!?

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(410): View more from Maryland

this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.

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(917): View more from New York City

im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out

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(951): View more from California

His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married

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(406): View more from Montana

A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.

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(703): View more from Virginia

To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked

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