ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.