2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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