READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she smelled like a LAN party
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
