Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
