She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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