READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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