Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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