help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My feet surprised me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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