Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think a kid would responsible me up
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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