So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
