Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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