why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
