just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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