If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
