Do you still have your period?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
