You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
