Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
