Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Can I color on your dick again?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
