You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
