nut hugger
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
