so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
