I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
