yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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