It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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