So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
