I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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