No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
