did you get engaged???
We won't sleep together?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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