there's paper in my vomit.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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