I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Banned from zoo.
Again?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
