If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
