id be glad to
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
