The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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