It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
