whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
