Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
