Christians are straight up FREAKS
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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