Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
