is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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