Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
