It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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