I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize