my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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